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the candlestick easy

The Christian Churches around the world have come together to reach agreement on the most pressing security issue in the last two millennia, recently climbed the front pages for ' brutality and cruelty of the violence: no, not the civil war in Congo and even the appointment of the Chairman of the Supervisory Committee RAI but coexistence in the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem . Tension is high and groups of men are willing to do anything to grab a bench with a broken leg or a piece of wall chipped in more. Taken concerned about the recent redefinition of the interior spaces funded by IOR , Pope Ratzinger said he was embarrassed and promised the immediate excommunication of those responsible for this mess of interior architecture. The report says that the Pope, very busy with his activities analysis and study of the facts of topical as the sack of Rome in 1527, the Battle of Thermopylae and the Night of Broken Glass "despicable act of vandalism against the decorum urban and showcases the exquisite Jugenstil German " , has personally supervised the project entrusted to a team of renowned architects Salesians. Again Satan has left his zompino . Disguise infiltrated the group working the Communist Mephistophelian Massimiliano Fuksas who imposed his stamp on the project in order to undermine the Bolshevik interreligious dialogue and extend Soviet influence in the Holy Land . The project, in fact, follows up in the most tragic details of the Rome office of the Rainbow Left known incubator of unresolved conflicts: the 4 cossuttiani forced to wade through the 4 corners of the huge open-plan office on the ground floor, which gives awareness of their small numbers, have a shared bathroom in the basement of the Correntone Mussi, in turn, relegated to slog for all coal-fired boiler feeding the building. Mussi, however, must have a punch on the fourth floor, where there are dozens of tiny offices designed for the Marxist-Leninist, in which each member holds rallies invective himself, criticizing its policy and calling it fascist organizing and collective farms Committees disused factory farm. They, too, but they must eat in the lunchroom collective staged on the second floor on the desks of Italian Communists ; Diliberto decides the menu, except the cake, which is determined Bertinotti from primary through within his party. Refoundation Communist, in fact, was placed on the stairwell where vents his natural inclination filibuster preventing other victims of go up or down, with cruel methods such as amendments and referendums. The Left Critique occupies the rest room and boycott coffeemakers, dragging down with him the entire private Italian Left the only element that keeps it alive: caffeine. The demonic Fuksas has done nothing but accelerate a process already under way on the expulsion of the various Christian professionals. Armenians have discussed for months with the Orthodox Greek on the quality of the cross of Christ (cedar of Lebanon is really? The Greeks are more likely to fir in the Val di Fiemme, while the Armenians insist on Walnut Caucasus) and manufacture the crown of thorns (two wires? Three threads? Crew? V-neck?), being in total disagreement and breaking the table of negotiations, in the sense that they literally smashed. At the same time Ethiopian Copts were cut toenails as coach of Egyptian Copts who, out of spite, shaking the crumbs of towels from the balcony fill their vases of flowers. The case was continued without failure on both sides, until completely covered the bench with nails and vases overflowing crumbs, the riot was triggered in style Men and Women. The two Muslims guarding the temple have disappeared quickly throwing the keys to an obese American tourist who has quickly gobbled up with a liter of Coca Cola soda. Remained open its doors, the men have fled the continuing urban warfare in the streets of Jerusalem. In order to restore order in the Holy Land, Patriarch of Constantinople has proposed to exploit their natural contentiousness for lucrative and transfer all the men on ' "Island of the Famous" by renaming "Island of Santoni " ; the monks physically perform the baptism, while remaining committed for weeks to throw holy water and incense on every square meter of the desert island. Obvious possible territorial conflicts. taken possession of the island, Catholics now have evangelized the local population sadistically forcing them to pay the 8 per thousand IRPEF , while the Greek Orthodox have served in the beach of precious Byzantine mosaics made from coconuts . The Armenians have had their alphabet in the sand, which is currently composed of more than 1500 letters obtained by switching the U, starting over each time the sea cancellations and Syrians drinking beer. After the fourth day has been entirely rebuilt the Holy Sepulchre in bamboo and already being discussed, including Armenians and Greeks, who had to procure the wood for the sacred fire. Meanwhile Catholics ushered in the second branch of the IOR , ATM, and ran a thriving sale of indulgences and relics, handmade by the natives into slavery made immediately to address the huge demand for exports "Father of Bananas Pio ", " toenails of Padre Pio " and" Fragments of the rock of Golgotha \u200b\u200bsigned by Padre Pio ". Calati inevitably plays because of the launch of the new program Milly Carlucci live by the Church of San Francesco in Assisi "Dancing in the frescoes" , monks and priests were sent back to Jerusalem, where they faced an unexpected setback: during their absence, the Basilica of the Holy Sepulchre was occupied misused by competitors Italian island of Fame, without which no tourist would notice the difference. Vladimir Luxuria, who became abbot, has repeatedly threatened the monks, accusing them of exploiting religious worship . Taken in Armenian word from the usual troublemakers, the shipwrecked trasgender Rai Due has been quickly thrown together a candelabra on his head to his colleagues, including Massimo Ciavarro, riciclatosi as a massage therapist and already known in the Jewish Quarter for its squalid sexual escapades. took possession of the monasteries, the main representatives of the six Christian denominations present agreed to imprint a peaceful and conciliatory discussion on a topic of great relevance and interest to all: the position of the Holy Spirit in the Holy Trinity . He sits on the left of the Father? He sits on the right of the child? He sits on a tiny chair between father and son? All three are staggered or sticks? And if so, who is ahead? But if not consistency, as he sits? A cross-legged? On my knees not to seem too high? The debate ended with 12 bruised, 4 injured and 7 missing.

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The insidious enemy

The unarmed Italian population is threatened by an enemy subtle and insidious, creeping a danger to the health of the elderly and heart disease, a disturbing and threatening presence between the cozy walls seemingly home: no, not Maurizio Gasparri at 8 o'clock news, but seasonal influenza, the to plague a number of National Health Service, the fear of doctors base, the nightmare of pharmaceutical municipal cysts.

tan tan like every year the media of television news, soap operas Austrian television marathons and performed by Milly Carlucci, highlights the growing phenomenon of health, triggering compulsive reactions part Italian geriatric population that is unleashed in the tragic vaccine research.

The usual internal source (see penultimate little story) has leaked the news that the number of doses distributed is deliberately decreased each year, according to the instruc tions operating a detailed plan put in place by subversive Francesco Cossiga and Duilio Poggiolini , to control the potentially explosive mass geriatric , silent majority that determines 90% of the country's economic and political strategies, the location of Despair Obi and force of a million dollar rain grants barbers and sports bar, the ndispensabili centers with control of entrenched throughout the territory (just walk into one of these "subversive cell" to see the evil conspiracies in action: older fi Ngono clearly to play cards, drink and discuss Montenegro soul ta football mind, and then, once free from prying eyes under 70, gather around the giant map of the world hidden beneath the sands of the bowling alley, planning the conquest of Molise and source water Ferrarelle ).
A militia masquerading as senile bonhomie that will stop at nothing to accaparrasi a dose of elixir of life. Like the zombies in Michael Jackson video, limp with her arms raised you for phlebitis until more ù close family doctor, who, obviously terrified by their greed, run pre-compiled recipes from the upstairs window, avoiding the mind to be wise lobotomize in turn by endless stories of villagers and gossip from the unlikely success of the school and sports plump grandchildren.
The plan for the dissemination of terror has already made its operational head bridge in telecommunications: Luciano Onder , dark character tied to the Masons environments (in the sense of boulders) and rewarded by Ennio Doris as "Manipulator media of the Year " for previous episodes of spreading hysteria: opening up the impenetrable secrets of prostate has apparently shaken the masculinity of Italian men with steel chain suicides among green shirts, illustrate the visible effects of Anal forced to resign MSI parliamentarians, members of Forza Nuova and prelates, with candid insights on the has decimated shares rose Palazzo Chigi. So did the Fourth Estate per person.
And like every year Luciano was promptly released from the studies of TG2 Health, the dreaded flu Decalogue, main instrument of the pre-Christmas marketing.
Sponsors and power groups competed to enter the Decalogue, offering astonishing figures to win the coveted pool of consumers geriatric-home-mother-with-fixed-absurd-hygiene-of-children .

We see a preview of the subtle commercial content:

1. to prevent bacterial infection wash their hands 12 times a day alternating repeatedly a generous dose of soap Cama (now unavailable, production and distribution is managed by Casale gangs and the sale made under the table just below the bench but ruthless chubby children Campania school age, supervised by the Price), a liter of oil Heart and a jar of pickled mushrooms Saclà. At night, repeat the operation by reversing the order. For children replace the mushrooms with the cheese My ;
2. spinning several times on the same clockwise and counterclockwise rotating type Dervishi , so as to expel microbes by centrifugation. Once the procedure, take two tablets of the Moment with a nice glass of orange juice and two Pejo Mon Cheri (the mixture, known as explosive Mentos in Cola, has been tested live by Giucas Box with catastrophic consequences of appetite Mara Venier)
3. welcome home at least two vendors Mondial House staying for a week without commitment and illustrate the story deals with one voice talking day and night without stopping. Also according to Michele Mirabella the deadly mix of discomfort and drowsiness should ensure an easier recovery of physiological functions primary, how to use the remote control, undermining the women from the East and do decoupage.
4. restore cognitive balance everything watching the schedule Mediaset with three televisions side by side and asking the secret of horrified enviable freshness of Barbara D'Urso, the limit of human capabilities (programs leading daily morning, afternoon and evening are actually only recorded on a green background . Thanks to the wonders of the computer are placed three different virtual backgrounds and aired without being aware that the housewives in a continuous cycle of reviewing the same crap all day. Mephistopheles is brilliant)
5. eat lots of fruit and plenty of vegetables, only when purchased along with the latest book by Bruno Vespa, and without drinking water (mineral water this year, no manufacturer has offered a sum sufficient to enter the Ten Commandments and the revenge of the evil Luciano is now taken) but also very soft nougat, a lot of vodka and fishing very very very salt
6. buy a package derived from Italease , then sprinkled on the bare chest, rub thoroughly and wait for the soothing effect breathing the vapors healthy balsamic;
7. wrapped in a practical electric blanket Scaldasonno set to the maximum possible temperature, taking care to expose their feet to be heated and salted pork wrapped in the Vaporella;
8. strictly avoid leaving . If it is not in any way avoidable, it only dressed in Benetton sweaters green apple (boss who needed a strong revival), a Prada shoe and a slipper-shaped DeFonseca panda, moving only cars with Toyota, which thanks to the construction methods with Feng Shui restores harmony and balance while driving to the horns repeatedly to pedestrians
9. clean the floors and surfaces of home because germs are everywhere and threatening the health of your children. Amuchina wipe the tiles with up to eat them with steel wool and steel grate in the sink to wash all the laundry Coccolino to 99 degrees, for hours, until it a soft foam to be taken by analysts as a medical miracle of the Eastern tradition;
10. always vote Berlusconi. Even outside the election campaign. Present on Sunday morning in front of the elementary schools waving angry the voting card in hand and claiming to vote. If no one opens scream loudly that the left is illiberal and clumsy and that Cameo is delicious hot chocolate and enjoy the whole family.

If, when applied strictly to the Decalogue's influence shrinks too, the problem is more deep rooted disease: you filthy communist. In this case, Luciano should put in a blender with a copy of the Manifesto, a DVD by Sabina Guzzanti, a tile designed by Massimiliano Fuksas, the card of the Coop, a red Renault 4 , whisk vigorously for 15 minutes and drink it to your neighbor home, even coercively . You will instantly feel invigorated by the healthy resurgence of the ardor italics.

Wax Before Straightening

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF THE LAST VITORY

SENSATIONAL: THE GREAT ARTIST REVEALS HIS LATEST EFFORT VITORY MUSIC!

Provocative popular singer or incurable slob? Great talent of Italian music or alone? The public is divided and the criticism is torn between the supporters of the versatile artist and the spittle of detractors, who never misses a chance to shoot irreverent barbs about his alleged relationship with Jocelyn.

The only character in the music that fills the empty stadiums and the bidet, the only one that can boast a long working relationship with cylinder, however, resulted in his most famous concept album "What the fuck I know? ", a milestone that has redefined the concept of personal hygiene.

Maurizio Sanchez Gutierrez y Mendoza y La Fuente y Garcia y Gazpacho, aka Vitory, comes to the fore in his early twenties as an energetic dancer in videos of Sabrina Salerno during a daring aquatic choreography with curvy star 80's, he was noticed by Gianni Boncompagni, after a quick test, the writing as a girl is not the Rai. For three seasons alongside Mary Patty, until the final consecration of the object hidden in a backpack he is Amber. No contestant guesses at home, but experience leads him directly into the languid world of glossy Bagaglino where, thanks to the valuable lessons of never too late Don Lurio, becomes the official stand of Pamela Prati, both in the interludes in which kisses Pippo Franco .

After the dizzying rise in the Olympus of the star system, the inevitable collapse: drugs, alcohol, whores, Oasis, drugs, a little more 'for hoes, some more 'by Oasis. A descent into hell, an exploration of the unconscious that will make him aware of his ego and his own body fat.

risen from its ashes, will reappear on live TV as a percussionist Gigi D'Alessio, Castellina Pasi trumpeter and organist of Pope Ratzinger. All at once. Never subdued performance of his instrumental Vitory has become a complete artist or, rather, the round: hailed by geriatric patients, feared by the butchers, mocked by the children, who have no scruples to pull his balls sucked in paper face.

Talented? Maybe. Miracle? Definitely. A diet? Never.

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The strategy of the pension

Historical revisionism has hit another innocent victim. After the beatification of Pius XII, the acquittal of the Republicans and the upgrading of Marco Masini, another character is again resurrected from the limbo of the anonymous against their express will, Licio Gelli , so rehabilitated in recent years from the center right to graze an unlikely bonhomie senile and be chosen as the new spokesperson of the kinder place the child snooty imprinted on the packaging of the notes bars chocolate (actually a sinister move to overturn the commercial Ferrero sanitized image of its confectionery and present them with the unexpected winning streak of sadism to the younger generation accustomed to violence. When installing the new TV spot directed by Jean Claude Van Damme, replacing the saccharine Advertise with Licia Colo: On a flight to a young girl with teddy bear in tow, approaches the Venerable mistaking him for a Winx , attracted by its metallic tunic type Magician Otelma. The little girl offers him a chocolate bar when suddenly the Grand Master with unexpected agility jumps up, snatches the pack mocking the girl giggled, a bowler throws smoke and throws off the door wrapped in the cloak shortly before the explosion of the airplane by a Libyan Mig . In the descent parachute strong bites a finger while reciting the phrase launch, before landing in the garden of the villa of Dell'Utri. In preparation for the second spot where he teaches his daughter to Licio Gelli Fiona May to build bombs shaped paper bust of Mussolini.

Poor Gelli! Disoriented by the modern world would remain blissfully under house arrest in the gilded cage of Villa Wanda, but is forced by the wave of revisionism in interviews to point the usual carelessness of the Italian politicians or engage in friendly debate with Cossiga on the number of OSS agents infiltrated the Juventus.

Poor Gelli, one must understand it. He feels frustrated about his uselessness. Since the lobby no longer have to meet secretly with the Ku Klux Clan caps but sit directly in the cabinet, the unions are divided, the judiciary is subject to the whims of the executive judicial, can reasonably be implemented his famous Plan of democratic rebirth ". Eager to turn the next step, the "rebirth of the Empire Plan" which provides inter alia the conquest of Cyrenaica and Eritrea , the Venerable has tried to take stock of the Italian situation almost 30 years after the "strategy of tension".

stillborn attempt to blow up a train, the most dramatic between the classical and subversive tactics: while the location of the bomb sull'ammiraglia of Trenitalia, the chilling "Scum of the Adriatic" , mercenaries hired by Licio were attacked by ticks and sellers abusive Puglia tomato and forced to jump from the moving train at the turn of cariolini lunchbox. Above the dining car where he hid the explosives was dropped at the Portsmouth, derail and crash-ending into the sea. Neither the passengers nor the controllers FS have noticed the lack.

Depressing the attempt by the Grand Master of reunifying the best of Italian politics and business under the auspices of the Masonic : the cocktail party sponsored by the Grand Orient of Italy, Maurizio Gasparri, seized with a fit of exoticism, paraphrased literally the invitation and occurred in Aladdin's costume with baggy pants and slippers curled , dancing belly dancing. Mario Borghezio impresentabilmente dressed Geisha by full Rossettini Kabuki and Alessandra Mussolini held by Balinese dancer but no pants. Among the entrepreneurs Giuseppe Fiorani Mongolian dress (which inexplicably he succeeds very well), Emma Marcegaglia in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" suspended in midair and Cesare Geronzi dressed mandarin (Citrus not Chinese). The berluscones Isabella Bertolini was forced to fall back on a costume Iveco Daily Dump trilateral, not in theme, but much envied by Giuliano Ferrara, who was instead presented as a professional Sumo wrestler.

Realizing the level, Gelli was promptly abandoned by fleeing the room hatch directly connected to the underground headquarters of the Venerable Bowling of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, where he spent the rest of the evening playing with Andreotti and winning awards stolen from the floor of the Ministry of the Interior, of the priceless relics of yesteryear conspiracy Italian Two Soviet atomic submarines tagliandati, complete dossiers dossier Mitrokin, the plaster cast of the shotgun bandit Giuliano, the right rear door of the white one signed by Eva Mikula, the radar tracks of Ustica and the missing piece of the KGB Cicciolina, (All material to be incorporated in its immense archive with more than 100,000 files on the entire Italian population, even the dossier of sciatica SISDE linking to my grandmother's Golpe Borghese and a full list of Italians who suffer from hemorrhoids , conveniently hidden in a vase of flowers)

Informed failure of the recent escalation of the Corriere della Sera, Grand Master has confided to his faithful that since we almost made it as a peeled Stefano Ricucci, probably the head symbol of media power has become so irrelevant in the life of the country to be an objective amateur. This acquisition is scheduled to pilot the much more authoritative and Donna Moderna Magazine For Men : in a note found by the Guardia di Finanza in a package of Tampax, Licio Gelli focuses on the high subversive power of editorial content, in particular the ability to ensnare the minds of readers subjugated practices as deceptive and self-harm "50 exercises for the abs of steel" or "12 positions it crazy ". For some time the Reverend keeps heading up the heart's mail under the name of the Christian Family Ci-Licio from which imparts separatist Uruguayan coded messages, mostly misunderstood by girls oratory as deviant sexual practices tips punctually applied with shouts of joy from them.

point minimum discomfort, the Venerable has tried to recover the glorious armed wing of the P2, the good old black and reassuring squads was promptly informed about current activities of the comrades of Casapound and Forza Nuova: beat fourteen high school students, retirees lashes, walk dogs stinking and presented with the spiked club in front of the RAI studios tricolor desert, naively expecting to attack Federica Sciarelli, dangerously indifferent to its well-known paranormal powers (such years with coercively forcing millions of seniors to follow his program)

Rejected even fascist fanaticism for the obvious limitations of the neurological above, the wily Licio promptly identified worthy substitutes to be sacrificed to the cause of insurrection against the democratic institutions and the rule of law: Friends of Maria De Filippi . Ruthless, sadistic fundamentalists are able to dance continuously to lose consciousness, are the ideal tool to anesthetize the masses in fierce debates on the arabesque and thus allow a peaceful reform of institutions in authoritarian sense. Someone pointed out that not only the idea is not new but has already been implemented: the student who exceeds the Master . Inevitable collapse of the immediate psychological result from the purchase of the worshipers of value: a pallet of gold bars, plus two bags of soil and twelve clay pots full of fake hydrangea in the garden to hide.

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The broker has mastitis

Thanks to my informants (actually my only information is a pappagal the albino named Oreste . He is fluent in 14 languages, graduated from the Scuola Radio Elettra , master's degree at Bocconi and certificate of attendance to the course of telekinesis Giucas Box . It was in 2002-2003 the ghost writer Maurice Gaspar re while parent the chamber Sudtiroler Volkspartei continuing the fight for the recognition of love bestiality. Due to a cru dele document exchange perpetrated during the night of the sadist Cossiga, Gasparri found himself making love with a mountain goat and was won the battle for the recognition of dyslexia lla . Now it is hidden in a false ceiling of the Foreign Ministry, in radio contact with the major embassies and the UN Security Council. Posing shamelessly for the unit is re Postalmarket to sell out to Ban Ki Mun a stat ua plastic of a Balinese dancer, a paper holder in the shape of Buddha rid reed and a box of apples) I got hold of a document to say the least exceptional the diary of a broker to place business which carried the news of the week just passed the stock market.

Monday

great euphoria in the U.S. market. Speculation on rice cakes is bearing fruit, missing for months by banks of supermarkets, with deep joy of consumers, are pouring in a few minutes on the global markets. Housewives are buying into a panic by the recession to the coffers of a half-Famila Italy futures the whole production until 2030, sending panicked with the cashier counts stamps.

Tuesday

A Wall Street broker, annoyed by obesity of the wife decides to sell all of its options to purchase the cakes rice crack unleashing a global industry. Suicides in in the food chain, from the Barilla brothers Magician Galbraith. The housewives realize that you have spent your life savings in rice cakes. The most daring try tasting one.

Wednesday

During the morning session of trade remained very weak. The gags abound. Some buyers hold out the hand immediately after withdrawing the action, others give in to the meal tickets for the speculators Monopoly. Towards noon, a fellow from Puglia falls asleep on the computer keyboard typing random "shit" unleashing the Tokyo Stock Exchange and the purchase of whole masses of manure Argentina. The Nikkei gains in half the 4500 session %. The Wall Street broker, known worldwide for the unbridled greed, defecate in public o sell their manure. the SISS exceed platin or quotes and is the new good ref ugio. Naples is now really a millionaire. At the end of the evening, the cattle farmers buy the French Paris Saint Germain. Those Valtellina, taken from schizophrenic euphoria, bring the cows to winter in Capri. Cattle are aware of their value and now adhere to a unified unions, complain about the taxation of overtime. Emma Marcegaglia calls for greater productivity and a glass of sparkling water.

Thursday

The Wall Street Journal discovers bubble and the headline "The shit stinks" , forcing U.S. pension funds to withdraw.

The Hang Seng lost 70 percentage points in a matter of seconds. The Nasdaq goes to prison and draw a card from the unexpected estab. Farmers, still under the effects of stock market hangover, you forget to milk. The cows have mastitis and flee across the Alps protected by ex-Red Brigades. The Italian investors are realizing that putting manure under the mattress and into the safes. Berlusconi recommended unified networks Italians not to sell because 12/24 months is definitely reevaluate .

Friday

contrast to the grim hunger on Friday, lively exchanges took immediately after the announcement of OPEC to increase oil production. The advisor of the UAE, dressed as Anubis, wrong to draw the symbol on the cuneiform tablets of wax, and order the removal of an excessive amount of oil. The gas begins to flow from the pumps distributors uncontrollably. Motorists were to fall into vulgar displays of manhood, doing bidet with the V-Power and storm the nearest Hummer dealership. Housewives watering the flowers with Selenia and begin frantically to remove the stain with turpentine everything they find. At the end of the evening the world's oil reserves declined by 1 / 3 while the majority of Italians still turn in a car without a destination. The only ones who remain at home are accused of "do the politics of" and brutally tortured with gun oil.

Trading closed with a correction by the countries producers. The gas of nearly € 10 per liter at the end of the evening and already has become the preserve of the wealthy, arrogant, resulting in performances by the ladies of Milan well, which can not pass up the opportunity to walk downtown with its tinted pug heavy naphtha.

Saturday

New stagnation of the market. brokers throw balls of paper sucked on the ceiling of the Milan Stock (which being a square and therefore has no ceiling balls fall tragically in the eyes of pitchers). It has been speculated on everything from nuclear warheads to the cartons of greasy pizza and major investment banks sift through the Yellow Pages to find new areas in which to invest. After a summit at the highest level is reached all'agghiacciante conclusion: just light bulbs were burned and statuettes Thun. A Piazza Affari the prospect of negotiating a terracotta angels chubby cause nausea, headaches and panic attacks even in the more seasoned brokers. The ECB and the Federal Reserve are in constant telephone contact. The Eastern appeal to Confucius and refuse categorically to focus on their gold reserves stinking Tyrolean figurines. Europe and the U.S. capitulate. Il Sole 24 Ore publish information.

and delirium.

Thousands of housewives about broken bulbs and telephoning their Personal Banker Mediolanum to sell them, but they do not respond. They are all at The Park mbro prey hallucinogenic visions running wildly about themselves by making circles with the stick Ennio Doris .

Italy is in the dark. Thousands of elderly people fall down stairs. No one died but all the fractured pelvis and try to rincollarlo with Polident.

Only at night the news of the new product launch intercontinental Apple opens a window of salvation. Steve Jobs presents the pomp ' I-Phone in their shells Meliconi bouncing and does not break. Scenes of collective delusion among the Japanese teenagers who are fighting to grab an electronics store. More than 70% unknowingly buys a remote Mivar and through autosuggestion, converse for hours with the vacuum.

The market is broken bulbs into the abyss. Berlusconi should not worry that the housewives of between 6-8 months the bulbs light up again.

Sunday

Square Business is closed. A little 'longed for peace in the families of the typical broker in Milan: his wife, who prepares lunch, the dog who gasped and her husband, who teaches the child to ride a bike, unfortunately without wheels after the frenzied speculation on spoked wheels. children trudging the frame dragging on the asphalt and fathers inveigh accusing them of "not doing the politics of" .

Meanwhile consuming drama.

Thousands of angry housewives and farmers converge towards Piazza Affari, breaking the windows of the Palazzo midnight and you can enter the trading floor, seeing them with deep wonder of being in the office of Good Friday. Paola Perego invites you to sit down and express their discomfort. Housewives accuse farmers of being fake in front of the cameras. Farmers call for the arrival of Maria De Filippi, who shortly after entering the breakdance dancing (thanks to an obvious stand-in) accompanied by her "friends." The housewives are at the top of the enthusiasm and the Monday morning rush to the supermarket, emptied of all food and not. The economy is saved.

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communities have short legs

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Who gave hope for him now the Democratic Party must promptly change their minds. In a move worthy of the best media Silvan vintage, Walter Veltroni has stunned everyone by challenging the prime minister on his own ground inaugurated with great pomp and the airing of new TV channels vo youdem.tv ( I state that as a plot twist media seems a bit 'weak given that 60% of Italians interviewed in this regard by Renato Manahaimer said "I do not care Fucking ", 25% " Even if I left I can say in all honesty that I do not give a fuck ", 15% " It seems a good idea to raise the cultural level of the Italians, but I do not think it will look because I do not give a fuck ", while the remaining 10% were clear by the opinion of the umbrella gesture. Personally I would have suggested a coup de theater that communicated the strength and determination of the Italian left, for example, kidnap the Pope, torture Lorena Bianchetti , Capezzone ship in outer space with a good old round Sputnik, gulp Storace of castor oil or rebuild the public image of Mara Carfagna . All genuine ideas and simple to implement, except the last, clearly utopian .)

course none of the co mparabile Television Liberties accredited more than 64 million viewers every day (source: Paolo Bonaiuti) that crowd on the screens of PCs around the world to assist, the undersecretary for tourism Michela Vittoria Brambilla Maria Giovanna Immaculate Consuela Damage that waves his hand directly from the European capitals, where he tries to convince the population Local to vacation in our country, receiving in return a collection of "fuck you" in 32 different languages.

But the real competition is the name referred to the left. The challenge is not easy. The competitors are fierce and ruthless, the first of the network Massimo D'Alema " red.tv " , rose to prominence recently for being monopolized the exclusive rights of the 2009-2011 program Bagaglino.

Even the radical left has suddenly gathered under the wing of " youtogliatt.tv " , the digital channel happy and carefree dedicated to the rediscovery of the great socialist and communist tradition of our country. Intriguing

the program: a documentary about the joyous life of the rural countryside of Moldova is a film about mondine Ukraine (actually a shameless remake with Bitter Rice in the role of Lucia Annunziata Mangano and Boris Yeltsin , more drunk than ever, which was part of the Gassmann) popping a studio debate between Bertinotti and Diliberto on the etymology of the word "toilet", the sound of burping moderated by the ever elegant Francesco Caruso and his dogs . And then Korean lessons North with Marco Rizzo, a funny sitcom set among workers of a steel mill with Azerbaijan and Raimondo Vianello Sandra Mondaini satirical news and conducted by Franco Turigliatto hilarious couple - Fernando Rossi.

great anticipation for "The collective farms of the famous" , realty show hosted by Lucia Annunziata in which a group of supporters of the Rainbow Left, selected without their knowledge by the boards of the primaries, will be segregated in the Milan offices of Free , forced to help in drafting the wording dell'imparzialissimo daily. The contestant who survives the provocative questions of Oscar Giannino, the buffalo Renato Farina and the wing of Victor Felts win a voucher for two people for a plate of tortellini in cream sauce to the Feast of Unity Reggiolo. The study of the host Skopje Lucia Annunziata competitors instigate physical violence, sadistic satisfaction with spreading false news about the results of Sunday football.

Expected record also plays for the innovative reality show, "The Mole" : 12 Head of Unit of the headquarters of the PRC Umbria, selected from electoral rolls without their knowledge, will be locked in a primary school in Orbetello, in which hides Gianni Baget Bozzo (dressed as Phantom of the Opera). Their mission is to flush him out and avoid the dripping among students. Only one will survive the torture of John and Don will take home a service of pots with the bottom of an inch high cast branded PCI cult piece for the antique dealers from across the Alps. From studies of Astana, Lucia Annunziata make it hard for competitors with questions of the type tautological "the left is able to govern?" , to be followed by a long fart by school children.

In perhaps the other major format: X Factor ( in reference to the factor optometric Annunziata ). In direct studies of abandoned Telekom Serbia in Belgrade, Lucia Annunziata will select the most promising young folk-Balkan turbo-rock, providing for the elimination of the least talented person, to kick up the backside. Moderator and guest of honor, Francesco Cossiga, who grimly take advantage of favorable geopolitical position to reveal its direct involvement in the major scandals of 900, from Watergate to Ustica, Lockheed scandal in the disappearance of Wendy Windham .

The most important problem for the executive producer the new network was looking for assistants, papers and letters, which are necessary as the only pathetic ploy to attract the electorate's center-right . Also in this case, the selections have been a real triumph: deserted from the usual boring popputissime twenties, daunted by the prospect of becoming, at most, shadow minister for equal opportunities were stormed by the cooks of the Day ' units, from elementary teachers retired and former sessantottino with regrowth. The jury, as well as an expert on female beauty Enzo Mirigliani , polished for the occasion with the living wood, Riccardo Schicchi (as a talent scout) and Umberto Smaila (as a pimp).

Matte laughs on Wednesday night with "You know the latest on Pecoraro Scanio?" , the program where competitors compete against each other laugh at the charismatic former leader of the Greens with jokes that now surpassed the number and quality of far as the police. Protagonist of the evening the crackling Paolo Cento, who with his puns the likes of "What's a hippie town hall? A common " did sbellicare racks, and generations of dermatologists. That leads Lucia Annunziata, having never laughed in his life, will close the program after two minutes, kicked competitors and guests.

At the end of the first day of programming, internal divisions have brought to 24 the number of channels opposition, among which that of Lucia Annunziata in protest at the emptiness of the Italian left, the cute journalist will be limited to announcing the time signal accompanied by the music of Psycho , passing the rest of the day staring into the eyes of viewers, with hypnosis instigating the most susceptible to unconscious acts of self harm (for example, to subscribe or sign up for Panorama Science and Life).

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Tesseract OCR opensource professional with google

programs optical character recognition gocr appear to be open source as a low level of development, rather to put all their performances are rather disappointing. But recently the situation seems to be changed because HP has a new release under the Apache License Professional OCR engine called Tesseract

The development of Tesseract by HP lasted nine years (1985 -1994). Now the development of the program is continuing with a new development team, the source code can be freely downloaded from the servers of Google Code,

tessecart present in the repository of many distros like ubuntu and fedora and opensuse Mandrivia but if you want to install it without test point your browser at the following address Address

http://asv.aso.ecei .tohoku.ac.jp / tesseract /

NB in \u200b\u200bmy tests on opensuse 11, the program can only handle BMP

Name:	Tesseract
Location:	http://code.google.com/p/tesseract-ocr/
Version:	1.04b
Input Format:	tiff
Accuracy:	99%
Easy of Use:	2/5

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The janitor is the gate number 3!

Given the great success achieved in the management of the long-playing Alitalia, Berlusconi's government has decided to apply the credo Tremonti in all spheres of public life. Why think like Chinese boxes veterocrazia Communist? "The problems to be addressed in an interdisciplinary way and possibly a full stomach after meals," said the minister Rotondi.

Beginning was as always the first class, Mariastella Gelmini, who decided resolutely to handle the problem of public education with a method and absolutely brilliant innovative: a state of emergency.

In the absence of Commissioner Fantozzi promptly contact your esteemed colleagues to find the most suitable person to the emergency management: Christian De Sica , abroad for the shooting of the new cinepanettoni, immediately called out, ditto for Massimo Boldi and Renato Pozzetto . In perhaps Lino Banfi advocated by members of AN, in particular Maurizio Gasparri big fan of his, as the geriatric-natured aspect makes it especially pleasing to children and grandparents. Pressing on the wing centrist Lando Buzzanca.

Great Investment on school infrastructure: the Alitalia desk removed from Malpensa and rest rooms for drivers major airports will be used as furnishings for the new school of mold -futuristic aircraft.

All classes will be strictly pressurized and can freely move horizontally and vertically, changing position every day. A handy board paddle 60 (smuggled from Licio Gelli after the bankruptcy of Pan Am) will show every morning Gate where there are classes. The classic wooden pews will be equipped with seat belts, kevlar and inkwell and pen dispenser for oxygen masks with the strawberry flavor. In the classroom will be no smoking.

Cuts teaching staff will be balanced by the recruitment of a large part of Alitalia job losses, much higher quality of service: children will be greeted by hostesses popputissime who will arrange for check-in points and Mille Miglia, finally replacing the fat and the gray socialist janitors. The survivors of the class will still have the obligation of the currency: given the size of the typical Italian janitors, two currencies will be used for any caretaker, masterfully assembled by the same, the effect Cubist is guaranteed and can easily be passed off as yet another full deconstruction of pret a porter Italian, with approval of the major fashion magazines. Staff of land will help the children in boarding procedures backpacks, suggested during the testing of mathematics and will pull the balls of paper with the straw of the pen-shaped gadget Alitalia airplane (strongly desired by Bonomi for the relaunch of the company's image, held in more than 5 million copies and immediately set aside because he wrote only in green, the color most useless of human history. After a failed attempt to bilateral negotiations to sell under the table is the Northern League which the Greens, have been cleverly recycled as a cocktail stick on the Rome-Seoul, with great joy for Korean tourists).

Immediately after the regular check-in, there will be boarding the backpacks. The baggage will be sorted and delivered on time in class before the bell rings. In terms of lessons can be recovered in the classic conveyor belts (coming from the wing resigned Fiumicino), barring unforeseen circumstances: primary school Leopardi Rome have already lost 60% of the folders, 45% of cases and over 90 % of snacks, which were found only wraps.

The password is: enough with the dirigiste egalitarianism. Older children may acquire the wealthy business class ticket and follow the lessons in comfortable reclining seats equipped with tv Plasma and mini bar always well stocked with domestic and imported liquors. They also enjoy the lounge room where the interval Billy sipping champagne and savoring one of the Cuban personally selected by Tinto Brass. For girls fashion victim has been provided to the checkered apron model "Barbarella" Skirted Keystone, jacket and visor on vinyl, thanks to which they can easily walk on the doorposts (even with the help of LSD).

passed the amendment to the PD, at the express request of Cossutta, which provides an alternative for children apron metallic model "Small Soviet cosmonaut" with pictures of Gagarin on his chest and plush Lay included.

Since teachers' salaries will be commensurate with the percentage of coverage of classes, feared the effects of an overbooking pushed . Children who remain on the ground, usually with limited financial resources as going to school by bus arrives late, will be incorporated in Bad School (established by Decree Law which suspends the entire six months for the Italian Constitution and reinstate the Court Martial) along with other assets no longer expendable: asbestos roofs, water infiltration, Turkish baths, teachers with a mustache and flannel skirts, broken photocopiers, physical education teachers and obese minestrone bill.

anxiously awaited the entry of foreign partner.

To date, however, came forward only the Kessler Twins.

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A fax server for free in 5 minutes


Finally after several attempts I managed to set up a fantastic on my opensuse-fax server, I used the back end coupled with the front end efax efax-gtk (GUI)

Step 1 Obtain one of those old 56k modem, already the ones that while you seem to connect them for them to burst. Here is my true splendor?

These old fax modem average are automatically recognized (unlike the winmodem) the only difficulty to see which are corresponding device in my case is / dev/ttyS0
Step 2 Install efax-gtk I have installed efax zypper
Through the engine of application, then I downloaded and installed the tallbar efax-gtk (http://efax-gtk.sourceforge.net/) as it is not available pre-compiled package for opensuse 11. Step 3 configure
efax-gtk
Launch efax-gtk from terminal as super user and go into preferences and we set
Select File> Settings tab is the identity. Write your name and phone number without you Dashes (/)
Modem tab: here you insert the device corresponding to the modem in my case / dev/ttyS0. Under
also added to the LOCL Lock file: / var / lock. The rest should be left blank (CAPABILITIES, MODEM CLASS) except the number of rings set in the board of 9 (maximum)
Tab parameters: Leave the default settings.
Print tab: I left The parametric
Visualization of Defaults tab: okular worked great
Socket tab: Check soket starts, open the dialog box when you receive a file from the door where soket send files (9900), and as authorized address set the local address. Step 4

set permissions I had to change the properties of the following files to use efax-gtk also regular users:
chown root: users / dev/ttyS0.
chown root: users / var / lock set
Step 5 cups
pointing firefox to the following address http://localhost:631/ you can configure using HTML form with a new printer
1) Select Administration> Add Printer.
2) Type in a name "eFax-gtk" for example. Location and Description are optional.
3) more ...
4) Under DEVICE, select: AppSocket / HP JetDirect
5) more ...
6) Under DEVICE URI, type in, "socket: / / localhost: 9900" (no quotes)
7) U MAKE select, raw
8) more ..
9) Under MODL select Raw Queue (en)
the procedure may require a username and password you provided suer credential user (root and passwd)
Step 5. Test efax-gtk: Set in the main window
day fax-gtk option waiting for you should get the following message confirming that you are connected with modem efax efax-0.9A
: 14:17:30 opened / dev / ttyS0
efax-0.9A: 14:17:31 using hsfmodem-7.60.00.18oem
in class 1 efax-0.9A: 14:17:31
activity waiting for Stage 6 to send a fax
Open open office to write a paper print selecting the appropriate printer "efax-gtk" if you efax open a screen that ask for the phone number to which to send the fax
I hope this tutorial can help you
ivolinux
Links:
List hardware (lshw)
http://ezix.org/project/wiki/HardwareLiSter

Linuxant
http://www.linuxant.com/company/
Dell drivers for Conexant modems.
http://linux.dell.com/files/ubuntu/modem-drivers/hsf/
http://support.dell.com/support/down...&fileid=206745
Efax-gtk http://linux.softpedia.com/progDownl...load-3705.html
Open office
http://download.openoffice.org/

Linux questions. Subject, getting sound with eFax-gtk:
http://www.linuxquestions.org/questi...h-efax-6077

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Hey!

How long we do not feel! You know .. you are right .. is a lot more that I do not update!

News there are not many ... it is also a rather important! Tomorrow begins a trial field Vico .. I have to keep updating this site that must start from scratch ... and if it goes in port should also follow the customers, payments, invoices .. etc. ... http://www.miniprice.it/ !

of my summer there is not much to tell of all can be summed up in a few lines .. over the 5 days immediately after the end of the Tuscan exams .. I made the rounds of the Aosta Valley in the days of August ... and for the rest of the time (starting from the day after my return from Tuscany), I worked by his father .. until the day before yesterday .. I start tomorrow and Field Vico .. I think that I could not get over this ..

We'll see .. I leave you with a couple of photos of the Valle d'Aosta!

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INTEGRATE IN FIREFOX

PROBLEM 1: open links of mail in kmail
type about: config in Firefox and check under network.protocol-handler.external.mailto match the true value . Then right-click anywhere and select New -> String. A new window will appear and type- network.protocol handler.app.mailto and click on OK to confirm, will appear a second window and type kmail (anke or another mail client).

PROBLEM 2: link would open in kmail firefox

Open konqueror and type settings: / selzionare KDE components -> Component Selection will appear select the KDE Control Center Web browser and click on the button below and type in firefox and give OK

Quid links of mail will be opened in firefox

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KDE installation of wireless card BCM4318 [AirForce One 54g]




hp pavilion of my brother has a BCM4318 integrated wireless card on motherbord, the open source driver works very badly so I tried using the windows driver

step 1 to identify the card:
chris-laptop: / home/chris86
# lspci 06:02.0 Network controller: Broadcom Corporation BCM4318 [AirForce One 54g] 802.11g Wireless LAN Controller (rev 02)
step 2 download driver windows
the following link http://ndiswrapper.sourceforge.net/joomla/index.php?/component/option, com_openwiki / Itemid, 33/id, list_b / find the suitable driver to run the wifi card, using the location of firefox and trying to 06:02.0 (numerical string ID card)
the driver can be loaded directly at the following link:
ftp://ftp.hp.com/pub/softpaq/sp30001-30500/SP30379.exe

step 3 installation
unzip the driver.exe with winrar ( works fine with wine) and then as root I type ndiswrapper-i
bcmwl5.inf
# install ndiswrapper-l # check if everything went well
if you have the following response all is well:
bcmwl5: driver
installed device (14E4: 4318) present (alternate driver: ssb) modprobe ndiswrapper then


step 4 configuration with YaST
apro yast dispositivi di rete > impostazioni di rete e seguo questo piccolo how to

In the Network Card Configuration Overview, click on "Add".

In the Manual Network Card Configuration, select "wireless" from the dropdown menu, leave everything else default and type in ndiswrapper in the module name box. Click on "Next".

On the Network Address Setup, goto the general tab, and set the Firewall to "External Zone". This may need some experimentation. Set Device Activation to Boot time (or Hot Plug). Click on "Next".

On the next screen configure the settings for your network. I've found it's best to leave the ESSID and encryption key fields empty and to let KDEWallet configure this, otherwise there may be conflicts. Most of the time, your Operating Mode will be set to "Managed". Again, you may need to experiment a bit.

In this context, I would like to share my experience of making the Broadcom Dell 1390 mini-pci wireless card work in a Comapq Presario V6000 laptop after I had installed OpenSuSE 10.2 (64 bit) in a dual boot configuration with Windows Vista Home (32 bit). Hopefully, this will save you some time and a lot of frustration, if you are on a similar track.

The laptop was connecting fine to the internet under Windows Vista through a Linksys wireless router with WPA-PSK security and it was set not to broadcast the network's ESSID. My objective was to achieve the same functionality under OpenSuSE 10.2. The first problem was to get the wirelss card recognized. I had to use ndiswrapper with bcmwl5.inf and bcmwl564.sys (available as the self-extracting R151517.EXE file from the Dell download centre) driver files for that. No other method worked. Then I tried to configured the card using YaST as described above. Although the blue light was now on, and the card could detect other visible secure networks when I used ' iwlist wlan0 scan ' it did not see my network (this was understandable as the ESSID was not broadcast). I could neither configure the security settings using YaST. The iwconfig command always reported the default settings only. It was such a frustration! Then I used the KDE KNetworkManager utility and the problem was solved. Could I configure the wireless card for my secure network and connect to the internet - It Was A doodle. The only thing Is that you need to fire up knetworkmanager Every time you boot up, I need to put it in your shell's profile file.

step 4 to load the module at boot

believe that this step is crucial because I did not initially make the change and the card did not work:

I went to edit the file / etc / sysconfig / kernel, replacing the MODULES_LOADED_ON_BOOT line = "" with MODULES_LOADED_ON_BOOT = "ndiswrapper"

then I rebooted and the sympathetic leed wireless card is on and the device worked properly

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opensuse and amule

opensuse distro has a default that triggered a comfortable and secure with a firewall that gay used to enable major services. unfortunately not already have a preset program for enabling the world's most popular p2p amule (or emulation).

this in itself is not a serious problem just open yast and then go to security firewall




inteterfaccie allowed in and then click Advanced






simply in order add the ports you want open

and then say that using a linux distro is complicated!

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solution for problems with a microphone using Skype

For some time I realized I was having some problems with the microphone using Skype on my Xubuntu. But in the end with a google and some testing I found the solution:

* From terminal run alsamixer
* Move up the " Mic" and activate it by pressing Enter * m
possibly the "Mic Boost " (if the microphone volume and bass) * Press
Tab to move to the view of recording devices move
* Here are the " Mic" and press Space to enable
* Move the "Capture " and enable it with the spacebar
* pressing Esc Exit

Restart Skype and then made a test with "Make a test call " find at the Options / Sound device .