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The insidious enemy

The unarmed Italian population is threatened by an enemy subtle and insidious, creeping a danger to the health of the elderly and heart disease, a disturbing and threatening presence between the cozy walls seemingly home: no, not Maurizio Gasparri at 8 o'clock news, but seasonal influenza, the to plague a number of National Health Service, the fear of doctors base, the nightmare of pharmaceutical municipal cysts.

tan tan like every year the media of television news, soap operas Austrian television marathons and performed by Milly Carlucci, highlights the growing phenomenon of health, triggering compulsive reactions part Italian geriatric population that is unleashed in the tragic vaccine research.

The usual internal source (see penultimate little story) has leaked the news that the number of doses distributed is deliberately decreased each year, according to the instruc tions operating a detailed plan put in place by subversive Francesco Cossiga and Duilio Poggiolini , to control the potentially explosive mass geriatric , silent majority that determines 90% of the country's economic and political strategies, the location of Despair Obi and force of a million dollar rain grants barbers and sports bar, the ndispensabili centers with control of entrenched throughout the territory (just walk into one of these "subversive cell" to see the evil conspiracies in action: older fi Ngono clearly to play cards, drink and discuss Montenegro soul ta football mind, and then, once free from prying eyes under 70, gather around the giant map of the world hidden beneath the sands of the bowling alley, planning the conquest of Molise and source water Ferrarelle ).
A militia masquerading as senile bonhomie that will stop at nothing to accaparrasi a dose of elixir of life. Like the zombies in Michael Jackson video, limp with her arms raised you for phlebitis until more ù close family doctor, who, obviously terrified by their greed, run pre-compiled recipes from the upstairs window, avoiding the mind to be wise lobotomize in turn by endless stories of villagers and gossip from the unlikely success of the school and sports plump grandchildren.
The plan for the dissemination of terror has already made its operational head bridge in telecommunications: Luciano Onder , dark character tied to the Masons environments (in the sense of boulders) and rewarded by Ennio Doris as "Manipulator media of the Year " for previous episodes of spreading hysteria: opening up the impenetrable secrets of prostate has apparently shaken the masculinity of Italian men with steel chain suicides among green shirts, illustrate the visible effects of Anal forced to resign MSI parliamentarians, members of Forza Nuova and prelates, with candid insights on the has decimated shares rose Palazzo Chigi. So did the Fourth Estate per person.
And like every year Luciano was promptly released from the studies of TG2 Health, the dreaded flu Decalogue, main instrument of the pre-Christmas marketing.
Sponsors and power groups competed to enter the Decalogue, offering astonishing figures to win the coveted pool of consumers geriatric-home-mother-with-fixed-absurd-hygiene-of-children .

We see a preview of the subtle commercial content:

1. to prevent bacterial infection wash their hands 12 times a day alternating repeatedly a generous dose of soap Cama (now unavailable, production and distribution is managed by Casale gangs and the sale made under the table just below the bench but ruthless chubby children Campania school age, supervised by the Price), a liter of oil Heart and a jar of pickled mushrooms Saclà. At night, repeat the operation by reversing the order. For children replace the mushrooms with the cheese My ;
2. spinning several times on the same clockwise and counterclockwise rotating type Dervishi , so as to expel microbes by centrifugation. Once the procedure, take two tablets of the Moment with a nice glass of orange juice and two Pejo Mon Cheri (the mixture, known as explosive Mentos in Cola, has been tested live by Giucas Box with catastrophic consequences of appetite Mara Venier)
3. welcome home at least two vendors Mondial House staying for a week without commitment and illustrate the story deals with one voice talking day and night without stopping. Also according to Michele Mirabella the deadly mix of discomfort and drowsiness should ensure an easier recovery of physiological functions primary, how to use the remote control, undermining the women from the East and do decoupage.
4. restore cognitive balance everything watching the schedule Mediaset with three televisions side by side and asking the secret of horrified enviable freshness of Barbara D'Urso, the limit of human capabilities (programs leading daily morning, afternoon and evening are actually only recorded on a green background . Thanks to the wonders of the computer are placed three different virtual backgrounds and aired without being aware that the housewives in a continuous cycle of reviewing the same crap all day. Mephistopheles is brilliant)
5. eat lots of fruit and plenty of vegetables, only when purchased along with the latest book by Bruno Vespa, and without drinking water (mineral water this year, no manufacturer has offered a sum sufficient to enter the Ten Commandments and the revenge of the evil Luciano is now taken) but also very soft nougat, a lot of vodka and fishing very very very salt
6. buy a package derived from Italease , then sprinkled on the bare chest, rub thoroughly and wait for the soothing effect breathing the vapors healthy balsamic;
7. wrapped in a practical electric blanket Scaldasonno set to the maximum possible temperature, taking care to expose their feet to be heated and salted pork wrapped in the Vaporella;
8. strictly avoid leaving . If it is not in any way avoidable, it only dressed in Benetton sweaters green apple (boss who needed a strong revival), a Prada shoe and a slipper-shaped DeFonseca panda, moving only cars with Toyota, which thanks to the construction methods with Feng Shui restores harmony and balance while driving to the horns repeatedly to pedestrians
9. clean the floors and surfaces of home because germs are everywhere and threatening the health of your children. Amuchina wipe the tiles with up to eat them with steel wool and steel grate in the sink to wash all the laundry Coccolino to 99 degrees, for hours, until it a soft foam to be taken by analysts as a medical miracle of the Eastern tradition;
10. always vote Berlusconi. Even outside the election campaign. Present on Sunday morning in front of the elementary schools waving angry the voting card in hand and claiming to vote. If no one opens scream loudly that the left is illiberal and clumsy and that Cameo is delicious hot chocolate and enjoy the whole family.

If, when applied strictly to the Decalogue's influence shrinks too, the problem is more deep rooted disease: you filthy communist. In this case, Luciano should put in a blender with a copy of the Manifesto, a DVD by Sabina Guzzanti, a tile designed by Massimiliano Fuksas, the card of the Coop, a red Renault 4 , whisk vigorously for 15 minutes and drink it to your neighbor home, even coercively . You will instantly feel invigorated by the healthy resurgence of the ardor italics.