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The broker has mastitis

Thanks to my informants (actually my only information is a pappagal the albino named Oreste . He is fluent in 14 languages, graduated from the Scuola Radio Elettra , master's degree at Bocconi and certificate of attendance to the course of telekinesis Giucas Box . It was in 2002-2003 the ghost writer Maurice Gaspar re while parent the chamber Sudtiroler Volkspartei continuing the fight for the recognition of love bestiality. Due to a cru dele document exchange perpetrated during the night of the sadist Cossiga, Gasparri found himself making love with a mountain goat and was won the battle for the recognition of dyslexia lla . Now it is hidden in a false ceiling of the Foreign Ministry, in radio contact with the major embassies and the UN Security Council. Posing shamelessly for the unit is re Postalmarket to sell out to Ban Ki Mun a stat ua plastic of a Balinese dancer, a paper holder in the shape of Buddha rid reed and a box of apples) I got hold of a document to say the least exceptional the diary of a broker to place business which carried the news of the week just passed the stock market.

Monday

great euphoria in the U.S. market. Speculation on rice cakes is bearing fruit, missing for months by banks of supermarkets, with deep joy of consumers, are pouring in a few minutes on the global markets. Housewives are buying into a panic by the recession to the coffers of a half-Famila Italy futures the whole production until 2030, sending panicked with the cashier counts stamps.

Tuesday

A Wall Street broker, annoyed by obesity of the wife decides to sell all of its options to purchase the cakes rice crack unleashing a global industry. Suicides in in the food chain, from the Barilla brothers Magician Galbraith. The housewives realize that you have spent your life savings in rice cakes. The most daring try tasting one.

Wednesday

During the morning session of trade remained very weak. The gags abound. Some buyers hold out the hand immediately after withdrawing the action, others give in to the meal tickets for the speculators Monopoly. Towards noon, a fellow from Puglia falls asleep on the computer keyboard typing random "shit" unleashing the Tokyo Stock Exchange and the purchase of whole masses of manure Argentina. The Nikkei gains in half the 4500 session %. The Wall Street broker, known worldwide for the unbridled greed, defecate in public o sell their manure. the SISS exceed platin or quotes and is the new good ref ugio. Naples is now really a millionaire. At the end of the evening, the cattle farmers buy the French Paris Saint Germain. Those Valtellina, taken from schizophrenic euphoria, bring the cows to winter in Capri. Cattle are aware of their value and now adhere to a unified unions, complain about the taxation of overtime. Emma Marcegaglia calls for greater productivity and a glass of sparkling water.

Thursday

The Wall Street Journal discovers bubble and the headline "The shit stinks" , forcing U.S. pension funds to withdraw.

The Hang Seng lost 70 percentage points in a matter of seconds. The Nasdaq goes to prison and draw a card from the unexpected estab. Farmers, still under the effects of stock market hangover, you forget to milk. The cows have mastitis and flee across the Alps protected by ex-Red Brigades. The Italian investors are realizing that putting manure under the mattress and into the safes. Berlusconi recommended unified networks Italians not to sell because 12/24 months is definitely reevaluate .

Friday

contrast to the grim hunger on Friday, lively exchanges took immediately after the announcement of OPEC to increase oil production. The advisor of the UAE, dressed as Anubis, wrong to draw the symbol on the cuneiform tablets of wax, and order the removal of an excessive amount of oil. The gas begins to flow from the pumps distributors uncontrollably. Motorists were to fall into vulgar displays of manhood, doing bidet with the V-Power and storm the nearest Hummer dealership. Housewives watering the flowers with Selenia and begin frantically to remove the stain with turpentine everything they find. At the end of the evening the world's oil reserves declined by 1 / 3 while the majority of Italians still turn in a car without a destination. The only ones who remain at home are accused of "do the politics of" and brutally tortured with gun oil.

Trading closed with a correction by the countries producers. The gas of nearly € 10 per liter at the end of the evening and already has become the preserve of the wealthy, arrogant, resulting in performances by the ladies of Milan well, which can not pass up the opportunity to walk downtown with its tinted pug heavy naphtha.

Saturday

New stagnation of the market. brokers throw balls of paper sucked on the ceiling of the Milan Stock (which being a square and therefore has no ceiling balls fall tragically in the eyes of pitchers). It has been speculated on everything from nuclear warheads to the cartons of greasy pizza and major investment banks sift through the Yellow Pages to find new areas in which to invest. After a summit at the highest level is reached all'agghiacciante conclusion: just light bulbs were burned and statuettes Thun. A Piazza Affari the prospect of negotiating a terracotta angels chubby cause nausea, headaches and panic attacks even in the more seasoned brokers. The ECB and the Federal Reserve are in constant telephone contact. The Eastern appeal to Confucius and refuse categorically to focus on their gold reserves stinking Tyrolean figurines. Europe and the U.S. capitulate. Il Sole 24 Ore publish information.

and delirium.

Thousands of housewives about broken bulbs and telephoning their Personal Banker Mediolanum to sell them, but they do not respond. They are all at The Park mbro prey hallucinogenic visions running wildly about themselves by making circles with the stick Ennio Doris .

Italy is in the dark. Thousands of elderly people fall down stairs. No one died but all the fractured pelvis and try to rincollarlo with Polident.

Only at night the news of the new product launch intercontinental Apple opens a window of salvation. Steve Jobs presents the pomp ' I-Phone in their shells Meliconi bouncing and does not break. Scenes of collective delusion among the Japanese teenagers who are fighting to grab an electronics store. More than 70% unknowingly buys a remote Mivar and through autosuggestion, converse for hours with the vacuum.

The market is broken bulbs into the abyss. Berlusconi should not worry that the housewives of between 6-8 months the bulbs light up again.

Sunday

Square Business is closed. A little 'longed for peace in the families of the typical broker in Milan: his wife, who prepares lunch, the dog who gasped and her husband, who teaches the child to ride a bike, unfortunately without wheels after the frenzied speculation on spoked wheels. children trudging the frame dragging on the asphalt and fathers inveigh accusing them of "not doing the politics of" .

Meanwhile consuming drama.

Thousands of angry housewives and farmers converge towards Piazza Affari, breaking the windows of the Palazzo midnight and you can enter the trading floor, seeing them with deep wonder of being in the office of Good Friday. Paola Perego invites you to sit down and express their discomfort. Housewives accuse farmers of being fake in front of the cameras. Farmers call for the arrival of Maria De Filippi, who shortly after entering the breakdance dancing (thanks to an obvious stand-in) accompanied by her "friends." The housewives are at the top of the enthusiasm and the Monday morning rush to the supermarket, emptied of all food and not. The economy is saved.