Friday, October 24, 2008

How Long Go Down Body Fat %

The broker has mastitis

Thanks to my informants (actually my only information is a pappagal the albino named Oreste . He is fluent in 14 languages, graduated from the Scuola Radio Elettra , master's degree at Bocconi and certificate of attendance to the course of telekinesis Giucas Box . It was in 2002-2003 the ghost writer Maurice Gaspar re while parent the chamber Sudtiroler Volkspartei continuing the fight for the recognition of love bestiality. Due to a cru dele document exchange perpetrated during the night of the sadist Cossiga, Gasparri found himself making love with a mountain goat and was won the battle for the recognition of dyslexia lla . Now it is hidden in a false ceiling of the Foreign Ministry, in radio contact with the major embassies and the UN Security Council. Posing shamelessly for the unit is re Postalmarket to sell out to Ban Ki Mun a stat ua plastic of a Balinese dancer, a paper holder in the shape of Buddha rid reed and a box of apples) I got hold of a document to say the least exceptional the diary of a broker to place business which carried the news of the week just passed the stock market.

Monday

great euphoria in the U.S. market. Speculation on rice cakes is bearing fruit, missing for months by banks of supermarkets, with deep joy of consumers, are pouring in a few minutes on the global markets. Housewives are buying into a panic by the recession to the coffers of a half-Famila Italy futures the whole production until 2030, sending panicked with the cashier counts stamps.

Tuesday

A Wall Street broker, annoyed by obesity of the wife decides to sell all of its options to purchase the cakes rice crack unleashing a global industry. Suicides in in the food chain, from the Barilla brothers Magician Galbraith. The housewives realize that you have spent your life savings in rice cakes. The most daring try tasting one.


Wednesday

During the morning session of trade remained very weak. The gags abound. Some buyers hold out the hand immediately after withdrawing the action, others give in to the meal tickets for the speculators Monopoly. Towards noon, a fellow from Puglia falls asleep on the computer keyboard typing random "shit" unleashing the Tokyo Stock Exchange and the purchase of whole masses of manure Argentina. The Nikkei gains in half the 4500 session %. The Wall Street broker, known worldwide for the unbridled greed, defecate in public o sell their manure. the SISS exceed platin or quotes and is the new good ref ugio. Naples is now really a millionaire. At the end of the evening, the cattle farmers buy the French Paris Saint Germain. Those Valtellina, taken from schizophrenic euphoria, bring the cows to winter in Capri. Cattle are aware of their value and now adhere to a unified unions, complain about the taxation of overtime. Emma Marcegaglia calls for greater productivity and a glass of sparkling water.


Thursday

The Wall Street Journal discovers bubble and the headline "The shit stinks" , forcing U.S. pension funds to withdraw.

The Hang Seng lost 70 percentage points in a matter of seconds. The Nasdaq goes to prison and draw a card from the unexpected estab. Farmers, still under the effects of stock market hangover, you forget to milk. The cows have mastitis and flee across the Alps protected by ex-Red Brigades. The Italian investors are realizing that putting manure under the mattress and into the safes. Berlusconi recommended unified networks Italians not to sell because 12/24 months is definitely reevaluate .


Friday

contrast to the grim hunger on Friday, lively exchanges took immediately after the announcement of OPEC to increase oil production. The advisor of the UAE, dressed as Anubis, wrong to draw the symbol on the cuneiform tablets of wax, and order the removal of an excessive amount of oil. The gas begins to flow from the pumps distributors uncontrollably. Motorists were to fall into vulgar displays of manhood, doing bidet with the V-Power and storm the nearest Hummer dealership. Housewives watering the flowers with Selenia and begin frantically to remove the stain with turpentine everything they find. At the end of the evening the world's oil reserves declined by 1 / 3 while the majority of Italians still turn in a car without a destination. The only ones who remain at home are accused of "do the politics of" and brutally tortured with gun oil.

Trading closed with a correction by the countries producers. The gas of nearly € 10 per liter at the end of the evening and already has become the preserve of the wealthy, arrogant, resulting in performances by the ladies of Milan well, which can not pass up the opportunity to walk downtown with its tinted pug heavy naphtha.


Saturday

New stagnation of the market. brokers throw balls of paper sucked on the ceiling of the Milan Stock (which being a square and therefore has no ceiling balls fall tragically in the eyes of pitchers). It has been speculated on everything from nuclear warheads to the cartons of greasy pizza and major investment banks sift through the Yellow Pages to find new areas in which to invest. After a summit at the highest level is reached all'agghiacciante conclusion: just light bulbs were burned and statuettes Thun. A Piazza Affari the prospect of negotiating a terracotta angels chubby cause nausea, headaches and panic attacks even in the more seasoned brokers. The ECB and the Federal Reserve are in constant telephone contact. The Eastern appeal to Confucius and refuse categorically to focus on their gold reserves stinking Tyrolean figurines. Europe and the U.S. capitulate. Il Sole 24 Ore publish information.

and delirium.

Thousands of housewives about broken bulbs and telephoning their Personal Banker Mediolanum to sell them, but they do not respond. They are all at The Park mbro prey hallucinogenic visions running wildly about themselves by making circles with the stick Ennio Doris .

Italy is in the dark. Thousands of elderly people fall down stairs. No one died but all the fractured pelvis and try to rincollarlo with Polident.

Only at night the news of the new product launch intercontinental Apple opens a window of salvation. Steve Jobs presents the pomp ' I-Phone in their shells Meliconi bouncing and does not break. Scenes of collective delusion among the Japanese teenagers who are fighting to grab an electronics store. More than 70% unknowingly buys a remote Mivar and through autosuggestion, converse for hours with the vacuum.

The market is broken bulbs into the abyss. Berlusconi should not worry that the housewives of between 6-8 months the bulbs light up again.


Sunday

Square Business is closed. A little 'longed for peace in the families of the typical broker in Milan: his wife, who prepares lunch, the dog who gasped and her husband, who teaches the child to ride a bike, unfortunately without wheels after the frenzied speculation on spoked wheels. children trudging the frame dragging on the asphalt and fathers inveigh accusing them of "not doing the politics of" .

Meanwhile consuming drama.

Thousands of angry housewives and farmers converge towards Piazza Affari, breaking the windows of the Palazzo midnight and you can enter the trading floor, seeing them with deep wonder of being in the office of Good Friday. Paola Perego invites you to sit down and express their discomfort. Housewives accuse farmers of being fake in front of the cameras. Farmers call for the arrival of Maria De Filippi, who shortly after entering the breakdance dancing (thanks to an obvious stand-in) accompanied by her "friends." The housewives are at the top of the enthusiasm and the Monday morning rush to the supermarket, emptied of all food and not. The economy is saved.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Can Rabbits Eat Grapefruit

communities have short legs

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Who gave hope for him now the Democratic Party must promptly change their minds. In a move worthy of the best media Silvan vintage, Walter Veltroni has stunned everyone by challenging the prime minister on his own ground inaugurated with great pomp and the airing of new TV channels vo youdem.tv ( I state that as a plot twist media seems a bit 'weak given that 60% of Italians interviewed in this regard by Renato Manahaimer said "I do not care Fucking ", 25% " Even if I left I can say in all honesty that I do not give a fuck ", 15% " It seems a good idea to raise the cultural level of the Italians, but I do not think it will look because I do not give a fuck ", while the remaining 10% were clear by the opinion of the umbrella gesture. Personally I would have suggested a coup de theater that communicated the strength and determination of the Italian left, for example, kidnap the Pope, torture Lorena Bianchetti , Capezzone ship in outer space with a good old round Sputnik, gulp Storace of castor oil or rebuild the public image of Mara Carfagna . All genuine ideas and simple to implement, except the last, clearly utopian .)

course none of the co mparabile Television Liberties accredited more than 64 million viewers every day (source: Paolo Bonaiuti) that crowd on the screens of PCs around the world to assist, the undersecretary for tourism Michela Vittoria Brambilla Maria Giovanna Immaculate Consuela Damage that waves his hand directly from the European capitals, where he tries to convince the population Local to vacation in our country, receiving in return a collection of "fuck you" in 32 different languages.

But the real competition is the name referred to the left. The challenge is not easy. The competitors are fierce and ruthless, the first of the network Massimo D'Alema " red.tv " , rose to prominence recently for being monopolized the exclusive rights of the 2009-2011 program Bagaglino.

Even the radical left has suddenly gathered under the wing of " youtogliatt.tv " , the digital channel happy and carefree dedicated to the rediscovery of the great socialist and communist tradition of our country. Intriguing

the program: a documentary about the joyous life of the rural countryside of Moldova is a film about mondine Ukraine (actually a shameless remake with Bitter Rice in the role of Lucia Annunziata Mangano and Boris Yeltsin , more drunk than ever, which was part of the Gassmann) popping a studio debate between Bertinotti and Diliberto on the etymology of the word "toilet", the sound of burping moderated by the ever elegant Francesco Caruso and his dogs . And then Korean lessons North with Marco Rizzo, a funny sitcom set among workers of a steel mill with Azerbaijan and Raimondo Vianello Sandra Mondaini satirical news and conducted by Franco Turigliatto hilarious couple - Fernando Rossi.

great anticipation for "The collective farms of the famous" , realty show hosted by Lucia Annunziata in which a group of supporters of the Rainbow Left, selected without their knowledge by the boards of the primaries, will be segregated in the Milan offices of Free , forced to help in drafting the wording dell'imparzialissimo daily. The contestant who survives the provocative questions of Oscar Giannino, the buffalo Renato Farina and the wing of Victor Felts win a voucher for two people for a plate of tortellini in cream sauce to the Feast of Unity Reggiolo. The study of the host Skopje Lucia Annunziata competitors instigate physical violence, sadistic satisfaction with spreading false news about the results of Sunday football.

Expected record also plays for the innovative reality show, "The Mole" : 12 Head of Unit of the headquarters of the PRC Umbria, selected from electoral rolls without their knowledge, will be locked in a primary school in Orbetello, in which hides Gianni Baget Bozzo (dressed as Phantom of the Opera). Their mission is to flush him out and avoid the dripping among students. Only one will survive the torture of John and Don will take home a service of pots with the bottom of an inch high cast branded PCI cult piece for the antique dealers from across the Alps. From studies of Astana, Lucia Annunziata make it hard for competitors with questions of the type tautological "the left is able to govern?" , to be followed by a long fart by school children.

In perhaps the other major format: X Factor ( in reference to the factor optometric Annunziata ). In direct studies of abandoned Telekom Serbia in Belgrade, Lucia Annunziata will select the most promising young folk-Balkan turbo-rock, providing for the elimination of the least talented person, to kick up the backside. Moderator and guest of honor, Francesco Cossiga, who grimly take advantage of favorable geopolitical position to reveal its direct involvement in the major scandals of 900, from Watergate to Ustica, Lockheed scandal in the disappearance of Wendy Windham .

The most important problem for the executive producer the new network was looking for assistants, papers and letters, which are necessary as the only pathetic ploy to attract the electorate's center-right . Also in this case, the selections have been a real triumph: deserted from the usual boring popputissime twenties, daunted by the prospect of becoming, at most, shadow minister for equal opportunities were stormed by the cooks of the Day ' units, from elementary teachers retired and former sessantottino with regrowth. The jury, as well as an expert on female beauty Enzo Mirigliani , polished for the occasion with the living wood, Riccardo Schicchi (as a talent scout) and Umberto Smaila (as a pimp).

Matte laughs on Wednesday night with "You know the latest on Pecoraro Scanio?" , the program where competitors compete against each other laugh at the charismatic former leader of the Greens with jokes that now surpassed the number and quality of far as the police. Protagonist of the evening the crackling Paolo Cento, who with his puns the likes of "What's a hippie town hall? A common " did sbellicare racks, and generations of dermatologists. That leads Lucia Annunziata, having never laughed in his life, will close the program after two minutes, kicked competitors and guests.

At the end of the first day of programming, internal divisions have brought to 24 the number of channels opposition, among which that of Lucia Annunziata in protest at the emptiness of the Italian left, the cute journalist will be limited to announcing the time signal accompanied by the music of Psycho , passing the rest of the day staring into the eyes of viewers, with hypnosis instigating the most susceptible to unconscious acts of self harm (for example, to subscribe or sign up for Panorama Science and Life).