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the candlestick easy

The Christian Churches around the world have come together to reach agreement on the most pressing security issue in the last two millennia, recently climbed the front pages for ' brutality and cruelty of the violence: no, not the civil war in Congo and even the appointment of the Chairman of the Supervisory Committee RAI but coexistence in the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem . Tension is high and groups of men are willing to do anything to grab a bench with a broken leg or a piece of wall chipped in more. Taken concerned about the recent redefinition of the interior spaces funded by IOR , Pope Ratzinger said he was embarrassed and promised the immediate excommunication of those responsible for this mess of interior architecture. The report says that the Pope, very busy with his activities analysis and study of the facts of topical as the sack of Rome in 1527, the Battle of Thermopylae and the Night of Broken Glass "despicable act of vandalism against the decorum urban and showcases the exquisite Jugenstil German " , has personally supervised the project entrusted to a team of renowned architects Salesians. Again Satan has left his zompino . Disguise infiltrated the group working the Communist Mephistophelian Massimiliano Fuksas who imposed his stamp on the project in order to undermine the Bolshevik interreligious dialogue and extend Soviet influence in the Holy Land . The project, in fact, follows up in the most tragic details of the Rome office of the Rainbow Left known incubator of unresolved conflicts: the 4 cossuttiani forced to wade through the 4 corners of the huge open-plan office on the ground floor, which gives awareness of their small numbers, have a shared bathroom in the basement of the Correntone Mussi, in turn, relegated to slog for all coal-fired boiler feeding the building. Mussi, however, must have a punch on the fourth floor, where there are dozens of tiny offices designed for the Marxist-Leninist, in which each member holds rallies invective himself, criticizing its policy and calling it fascist organizing and collective farms Committees disused factory farm. They, too, but they must eat in the lunchroom collective staged on the second floor on the desks of Italian Communists ; Diliberto decides the menu, except the cake, which is determined Bertinotti from primary through within his party. Refoundation Communist, in fact, was placed on the stairwell where vents his natural inclination filibuster preventing other victims of go up or down, with cruel methods such as amendments and referendums. The Left Critique occupies the rest room and boycott coffeemakers, dragging down with him the entire private Italian Left the only element that keeps it alive: caffeine. The demonic Fuksas has done nothing but accelerate a process already under way on the expulsion of the various Christian professionals. Armenians have discussed for months with the Orthodox Greek on the quality of the cross of Christ (cedar of Lebanon is really? The Greeks are more likely to fir in the Val di Fiemme, while the Armenians insist on Walnut Caucasus) and manufacture the crown of thorns (two wires? Three threads? Crew? V-neck?), being in total disagreement and breaking the table of negotiations, in the sense that they literally smashed. At the same time Ethiopian Copts were cut toenails as coach of Egyptian Copts who, out of spite, shaking the crumbs of towels from the balcony fill their vases of flowers. The case was continued without failure on both sides, until completely covered the bench with nails and vases overflowing crumbs, the riot was triggered in style Men and Women. The two Muslims guarding the temple have disappeared quickly throwing the keys to an obese American tourist who has quickly gobbled up with a liter of Coca Cola soda. Remained open its doors, the men have fled the continuing urban warfare in the streets of Jerusalem. In order to restore order in the Holy Land, Patriarch of Constantinople has proposed to exploit their natural contentiousness for lucrative and transfer all the men on ' "Island of the Famous" by renaming "Island of Santoni " ; the monks physically perform the baptism, while remaining committed for weeks to throw holy water and incense on every square meter of the desert island. Obvious possible territorial conflicts. taken possession of the island, Catholics now have evangelized the local population sadistically forcing them to pay the 8 per thousand IRPEF , while the Greek Orthodox have served in the beach of precious Byzantine mosaics made from coconuts . The Armenians have had their alphabet in the sand, which is currently composed of more than 1500 letters obtained by switching the U, starting over each time the sea cancellations and Syrians drinking beer. After the fourth day has been entirely rebuilt the Holy Sepulchre in bamboo and already being discussed, including Armenians and Greeks, who had to procure the wood for the sacred fire. Meanwhile Catholics ushered in the second branch of the IOR , ATM, and ran a thriving sale of indulgences and relics, handmade by the natives into slavery made immediately to address the huge demand for exports "Father of Bananas Pio ", " toenails of Padre Pio " and" Fragments of the rock of Golgotha \u200b\u200bsigned by Padre Pio ". Calati inevitably plays because of the launch of the new program Milly Carlucci live by the Church of San Francesco in Assisi "Dancing in the frescoes" , monks and priests were sent back to Jerusalem, where they faced an unexpected setback: during their absence, the Basilica of the Holy Sepulchre was occupied misused by competitors Italian island of Fame, without which no tourist would notice the difference. Vladimir Luxuria, who became abbot, has repeatedly threatened the monks, accusing them of exploiting religious worship . Taken in Armenian word from the usual troublemakers, the shipwrecked trasgender Rai Due has been quickly thrown together a candelabra on his head to his colleagues, including Massimo Ciavarro, riciclatosi as a massage therapist and already known in the Jewish Quarter for its squalid sexual escapades. took possession of the monasteries, the main representatives of the six Christian denominations present agreed to imprint a peaceful and conciliatory discussion on a topic of great relevance and interest to all: the position of the Holy Spirit in the Holy Trinity . He sits on the left of the Father? He sits on the right of the child? He sits on a tiny chair between father and son? All three are staggered or sticks? And if so, who is ahead? But if not consistency, as he sits? A cross-legged? On my knees not to seem too high? The debate ended with 12 bruised, 4 injured and 7 missing.

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The insidious enemy

The unarmed Italian population is threatened by an enemy subtle and insidious, creeping a danger to the health of the elderly and heart disease, a disturbing and threatening presence between the cozy walls seemingly home: no, not Maurizio Gasparri at 8 o'clock news, but seasonal influenza, the to plague a number of National Health Service, the fear of doctors base, the nightmare of pharmaceutical municipal cysts.

tan tan like every year the media of television news, soap operas Austrian television marathons and performed by Milly Carlucci, highlights the growing phenomenon of health, triggering compulsive reactions part Italian geriatric population that is unleashed in the tragic vaccine research.

The usual internal source (see penultimate little story) has leaked the news that the number of doses distributed is deliberately decreased each year, according to the instruc tions operating a detailed plan put in place by subversive Francesco Cossiga and Duilio Poggiolini , to control the potentially explosive mass geriatric , silent majority that determines 90% of the country's economic and political strategies, the location of Despair Obi and force of a million dollar rain grants barbers and sports bar, the ndispensabili centers with control of entrenched throughout the territory (just walk into one of these "subversive cell" to see the evil conspiracies in action: older fi Ngono clearly to play cards, drink and discuss Montenegro soul ta football mind, and then, once free from prying eyes under 70, gather around the giant map of the world hidden beneath the sands of the bowling alley, planning the conquest of Molise and source water Ferrarelle ).
A militia masquerading as senile bonhomie that will stop at nothing to accaparrasi a dose of elixir of life. Like the zombies in Michael Jackson video, limp with her arms raised you for phlebitis until more ù close family doctor, who, obviously terrified by their greed, run pre-compiled recipes from the upstairs window, avoiding the mind to be wise lobotomize in turn by endless stories of villagers and gossip from the unlikely success of the school and sports plump grandchildren.
The plan for the dissemination of terror has already made its operational head bridge in telecommunications: Luciano Onder , dark character tied to the Masons environments (in the sense of boulders) and rewarded by Ennio Doris as "Manipulator media of the Year " for previous episodes of spreading hysteria: opening up the impenetrable secrets of prostate has apparently shaken the masculinity of Italian men with steel chain suicides among green shirts, illustrate the visible effects of Anal forced to resign MSI parliamentarians, members of Forza Nuova and prelates, with candid insights on the has decimated shares rose Palazzo Chigi. So did the Fourth Estate per person.
And like every year Luciano was promptly released from the studies of TG2 Health, the dreaded flu Decalogue, main instrument of the pre-Christmas marketing.
Sponsors and power groups competed to enter the Decalogue, offering astonishing figures to win the coveted pool of consumers geriatric-home-mother-with-fixed-absurd-hygiene-of-children .

We see a preview of the subtle commercial content:

1. to prevent bacterial infection wash their hands 12 times a day alternating repeatedly a generous dose of soap Cama (now unavailable, production and distribution is managed by Casale gangs and the sale made under the table just below the bench but ruthless chubby children Campania school age, supervised by the Price), a liter of oil Heart and a jar of pickled mushrooms Saclà. At night, repeat the operation by reversing the order. For children replace the mushrooms with the cheese My ;
2. spinning several times on the same clockwise and counterclockwise rotating type Dervishi , so as to expel microbes by centrifugation. Once the procedure, take two tablets of the Moment with a nice glass of orange juice and two Pejo Mon Cheri (the mixture, known as explosive Mentos in Cola, has been tested live by Giucas Box with catastrophic consequences of appetite Mara Venier)
3. welcome home at least two vendors Mondial House staying for a week without commitment and illustrate the story deals with one voice talking day and night without stopping. Also according to Michele Mirabella the deadly mix of discomfort and drowsiness should ensure an easier recovery of physiological functions primary, how to use the remote control, undermining the women from the East and do decoupage.
4. restore cognitive balance everything watching the schedule Mediaset with three televisions side by side and asking the secret of horrified enviable freshness of Barbara D'Urso, the limit of human capabilities (programs leading daily morning, afternoon and evening are actually only recorded on a green background . Thanks to the wonders of the computer are placed three different virtual backgrounds and aired without being aware that the housewives in a continuous cycle of reviewing the same crap all day. Mephistopheles is brilliant)
5. eat lots of fruit and plenty of vegetables, only when purchased along with the latest book by Bruno Vespa, and without drinking water (mineral water this year, no manufacturer has offered a sum sufficient to enter the Ten Commandments and the revenge of the evil Luciano is now taken) but also very soft nougat, a lot of vodka and fishing very very very salt
6. buy a package derived from Italease , then sprinkled on the bare chest, rub thoroughly and wait for the soothing effect breathing the vapors healthy balsamic;
7. wrapped in a practical electric blanket Scaldasonno set to the maximum possible temperature, taking care to expose their feet to be heated and salted pork wrapped in the Vaporella;
8. strictly avoid leaving . If it is not in any way avoidable, it only dressed in Benetton sweaters green apple (boss who needed a strong revival), a Prada shoe and a slipper-shaped DeFonseca panda, moving only cars with Toyota, which thanks to the construction methods with Feng Shui restores harmony and balance while driving to the horns repeatedly to pedestrians
9. clean the floors and surfaces of home because germs are everywhere and threatening the health of your children. Amuchina wipe the tiles with up to eat them with steel wool and steel grate in the sink to wash all the laundry Coccolino to 99 degrees, for hours, until it a soft foam to be taken by analysts as a medical miracle of the Eastern tradition;
10. always vote Berlusconi. Even outside the election campaign. Present on Sunday morning in front of the elementary schools waving angry the voting card in hand and claiming to vote. If no one opens scream loudly that the left is illiberal and clumsy and that Cameo is delicious hot chocolate and enjoy the whole family.

If, when applied strictly to the Decalogue's influence shrinks too, the problem is more deep rooted disease: you filthy communist. In this case, Luciano should put in a blender with a copy of the Manifesto, a DVD by Sabina Guzzanti, a tile designed by Massimiliano Fuksas, the card of the Coop, a red Renault 4 , whisk vigorously for 15 minutes and drink it to your neighbor home, even coercively . You will instantly feel invigorated by the healthy resurgence of the ardor italics.

Wax Before Straightening

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF THE LAST VITORY

SENSATIONAL: THE GREAT ARTIST REVEALS HIS LATEST EFFORT VITORY MUSIC!

Provocative popular singer or incurable slob? Great talent of Italian music or alone? The public is divided and the criticism is torn between the supporters of the versatile artist and the spittle of detractors, who never misses a chance to shoot irreverent barbs about his alleged relationship with Jocelyn.

The only character in the music that fills the empty stadiums and the bidet, the only one that can boast a long working relationship with cylinder, however, resulted in his most famous concept album "What the fuck I know? ", a milestone that has redefined the concept of personal hygiene.

Maurizio Sanchez Gutierrez y Mendoza y La Fuente y Garcia y Gazpacho, aka Vitory, comes to the fore in his early twenties as an energetic dancer in videos of Sabrina Salerno during a daring aquatic choreography with curvy star 80's, he was noticed by Gianni Boncompagni, after a quick test, the writing as a girl is not the Rai. For three seasons alongside Mary Patty, until the final consecration of the object hidden in a backpack he is Amber. No contestant guesses at home, but experience leads him directly into the languid world of glossy Bagaglino where, thanks to the valuable lessons of never too late Don Lurio, becomes the official stand of Pamela Prati, both in the interludes in which kisses Pippo Franco .

After the dizzying rise in the Olympus of the star system, the inevitable collapse: drugs, alcohol, whores, Oasis, drugs, a little more 'for hoes, some more 'by Oasis. A descent into hell, an exploration of the unconscious that will make him aware of his ego and his own body fat.

risen from its ashes, will reappear on live TV as a percussionist Gigi D'Alessio, Castellina Pasi trumpeter and organist of Pope Ratzinger. All at once. Never subdued performance of his instrumental Vitory has become a complete artist or, rather, the round: hailed by geriatric patients, feared by the butchers, mocked by the children, who have no scruples to pull his balls sucked in paper face.

Talented? Maybe. Miracle? Definitely. A diet? Never.

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The strategy of the pension

Historical revisionism has hit another innocent victim. After the beatification of Pius XII, the acquittal of the Republicans and the upgrading of Marco Masini, another character is again resurrected from the limbo of the anonymous against their express will, Licio Gelli , so rehabilitated in recent years from the center right to graze an unlikely bonhomie senile and be chosen as the new spokesperson of the kinder place the child snooty imprinted on the packaging of the notes bars chocolate (actually a sinister move to overturn the commercial Ferrero sanitized image of its confectionery and present them with the unexpected winning streak of sadism to the younger generation accustomed to violence. When installing the new TV spot directed by Jean Claude Van Damme, replacing the saccharine Advertise with Licia Colo: On a flight to a young girl with teddy bear in tow, approaches the Venerable mistaking him for a Winx , attracted by its metallic tunic type Magician Otelma. The little girl offers him a chocolate bar when suddenly the Grand Master with unexpected agility jumps up, snatches the pack mocking the girl giggled, a bowler throws smoke and throws off the door wrapped in the cloak shortly before the explosion of the airplane by a Libyan Mig . In the descent parachute strong bites a finger while reciting the phrase launch, before landing in the garden of the villa of Dell'Utri. In preparation for the second spot where he teaches his daughter to Licio Gelli Fiona May to build bombs shaped paper bust of Mussolini.

Poor Gelli! Disoriented by the modern world would remain blissfully under house arrest in the gilded cage of Villa Wanda, but is forced by the wave of revisionism in interviews to point the usual carelessness of the Italian politicians or engage in friendly debate with Cossiga on the number of OSS agents infiltrated the Juventus.

Poor Gelli, one must understand it. He feels frustrated about his uselessness. Since the lobby no longer have to meet secretly with the Ku Klux Clan caps but sit directly in the cabinet, the unions are divided, the judiciary is subject to the whims of the executive judicial, can reasonably be implemented his famous Plan of democratic rebirth ". Eager to turn the next step, the "rebirth of the Empire Plan" which provides inter alia the conquest of Cyrenaica and Eritrea , the Venerable has tried to take stock of the Italian situation almost 30 years after the "strategy of tension".

stillborn attempt to blow up a train, the most dramatic between the classical and subversive tactics: while the location of the bomb sull'ammiraglia of Trenitalia, the chilling "Scum of the Adriatic" , mercenaries hired by Licio were attacked by ticks and sellers abusive Puglia tomato and forced to jump from the moving train at the turn of cariolini lunchbox. Above the dining car where he hid the explosives was dropped at the Portsmouth, derail and crash-ending into the sea. Neither the passengers nor the controllers FS have noticed the lack.

Depressing the attempt by the Grand Master of reunifying the best of Italian politics and business under the auspices of the Masonic : the cocktail party sponsored by the Grand Orient of Italy, Maurizio Gasparri, seized with a fit of exoticism, paraphrased literally the invitation and occurred in Aladdin's costume with baggy pants and slippers curled , dancing belly dancing. Mario Borghezio impresentabilmente dressed Geisha by full Rossettini Kabuki and Alessandra Mussolini held by Balinese dancer but no pants. Among the entrepreneurs Giuseppe Fiorani Mongolian dress (which inexplicably he succeeds very well), Emma Marcegaglia in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" suspended in midair and Cesare Geronzi dressed mandarin (Citrus not Chinese). The berluscones Isabella Bertolini was forced to fall back on a costume Iveco Daily Dump trilateral, not in theme, but much envied by Giuliano Ferrara, who was instead presented as a professional Sumo wrestler.

Realizing the level, Gelli was promptly abandoned by fleeing the room hatch directly connected to the underground headquarters of the Venerable Bowling of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, where he spent the rest of the evening playing with Andreotti and winning awards stolen from the floor of the Ministry of the Interior, of the priceless relics of yesteryear conspiracy Italian Two Soviet atomic submarines tagliandati, complete dossiers dossier Mitrokin, the plaster cast of the shotgun bandit Giuliano, the right rear door of the white one signed by Eva Mikula, the radar tracks of Ustica and the missing piece of the KGB Cicciolina, (All material to be incorporated in its immense archive with more than 100,000 files on the entire Italian population, even the dossier of sciatica SISDE linking to my grandmother's Golpe Borghese and a full list of Italians who suffer from hemorrhoids , conveniently hidden in a vase of flowers)

Informed failure of the recent escalation of the Corriere della Sera, Grand Master has confided to his faithful that since we almost made it as a peeled Stefano Ricucci, probably the head symbol of media power has become so irrelevant in the life of the country to be an objective amateur. This acquisition is scheduled to pilot the much more authoritative and Donna Moderna Magazine For Men : in a note found by the Guardia di Finanza in a package of Tampax, Licio Gelli focuses on the high subversive power of editorial content, in particular the ability to ensnare the minds of readers subjugated practices as deceptive and self-harm "50 exercises for the abs of steel" or "12 positions it crazy ". For some time the Reverend keeps heading up the heart's mail under the name of the Christian Family Ci-Licio from which imparts separatist Uruguayan coded messages, mostly misunderstood by girls oratory as deviant sexual practices tips punctually applied with shouts of joy from them.

point minimum discomfort, the Venerable has tried to recover the glorious armed wing of the P2, the good old black and reassuring squads was promptly informed about current activities of the comrades of Casapound and Forza Nuova: beat fourteen high school students, retirees lashes, walk dogs stinking and presented with the spiked club in front of the RAI studios tricolor desert, naively expecting to attack Federica Sciarelli, dangerously indifferent to its well-known paranormal powers (such years with coercively forcing millions of seniors to follow his program)

Rejected even fascist fanaticism for the obvious limitations of the neurological above, the wily Licio promptly identified worthy substitutes to be sacrificed to the cause of insurrection against the democratic institutions and the rule of law: Friends of Maria De Filippi . Ruthless, sadistic fundamentalists are able to dance continuously to lose consciousness, are the ideal tool to anesthetize the masses in fierce debates on the arabesque and thus allow a peaceful reform of institutions in authoritarian sense. Someone pointed out that not only the idea is not new but has already been implemented: the student who exceeds the Master . Inevitable collapse of the immediate psychological result from the purchase of the worshipers of value: a pallet of gold bars, plus two bags of soil and twelve clay pots full of fake hydrangea in the garden to hide.