Hand Foot And Mouth Disease Bells Palsy

The ruling Communists are weathering

"The weather conditions are communists, the name says it all, agents Atmospheric nationality, which borders Moldova. We will not allow these saboteurs subvert the popular vote, the will of the people! " began the Premier at the meeting in Confindustria, the industrialists ensuring that the government program will not be resized in any way by the tragic events that have recently hit the first Abruzzo and Messina.
"The government goes on as a Eurostar in Basilicata, without rails" and promises to deliver all the major works planned, especially for the strategic southern Italy.

Minister Matteoli has secured the opening of the construction site of the Messina Strait Bridge in record time, with the addition of some minor changes to the project: to avoid the danger of more floods and landslides, the entire population of Messina and neighbors will be transferred to the first pier of the bridge, where he lived in nice houses Wood suspended on steel cables 80 meters in height. The roof garden will be, as in Babylon, garden gnomes and acrobats, as in Babylon, will be donated to Bertolaso \u200b\u200bduring a special live Porta a Porta coordinated by Cirque Du Soleil. Even the return to nuclear power will not be no stop: in the second pier of the bridge will be built a nuclear power plant that will power the city on the first pylon. In case of accident to the central people can easily escape by diving into the cooling waters of the Strait. Resolved at an early stage the problem of radioactive waste. The drums of toxic waste will be used as bar stools at the counter of the most fashionable of Messina, thanks to the ability a scenic drive light blue fluorescent.

Never before have the government's housing plan will be an indispensable tool for development. The displaced will be able to add a 20% increase in the rubble of their homes, or rebuild from scratch 35% of the old cube choosing whether to rebuild only the bathroom or just the bedroom, but with a kitchenette. Alternatively you can convert the rubble with a weight equivalent of garden gnomes.

On the education minister Gelmini will not discount to anyone with a circular reiterated the obligatory nature of daily minute of silence for soldiers killed in Kabul, which also in case of catastrophe natural. After the protest of parents' associations have issued a second explanatory circular which accepts, in case of incipient collapse of the building, replacing it with a minute of prayer to the Virgin Mary. The development of technological equipment will continue along the lines of computerized forced stages: the electronic boards will be hung in all classes, even if the walls have collapsed. You can easily place it on the floor and in case of non supply of energy will be allowed to write on the LCD with white chalk, limestone without too. The lazy janitors will be replaced by patrols of police stations and neighborhood caretakers specially trained in the barracks Duca degli Abruzzi and specialize in La Spezia the cleanliness of the classrooms in extreme conditions like floods and volcanic eruptions. Some caretakers also selected will be allowed to handle nuclear waste, as long as they wash their hands before and after to prevent infection with influenza A.

Just then the scenes of public self-pity: "are deleterious to the image in the world. We are the land of sunshine and joy! The faces and the tears are communists! " ruled Michela Vittoria Brambilla visiting flooded areas of Sicily. The countries covered in mud will soon be converted to charming towns carved into the rock, like the Stones of Matera, which will attract the curiosity of tourists environmentally friendly. The Tourism Ministry has already contacted Mel Gibson shooting his hilarious new film "Smiling Apocalypse" (in Italian "Accept the Apocalypse with a smile and shut up"). Thanks to the donation of the Autonomous Province of Bolzano, the mudslides will be equipped with cannons for artificial snow and ski lifts. Brambilla Minister has already announced sold out for the Feast of the Immaculate (which, among other things, seems to be the most quoted name for the bridge over the Strait, as it will be decorated with a huge neon shooting star and all Christmas gifts year to thank the Vatican hierarchy-sensitive).

Not Yet satisfied by the triumphs achieved by his ministry, Mara Carfagna decided to launch the awareness campaign "Belle in the mud," against the ugly and the sloppiness of the women involved by natural disasters, totally out of place with the image of capital fashion. Great success has emerged on the free distribution of lipstick and mascara women Aquila and stages of hair held by Manolo, the hairdresser of the stars, on piles of mud and Messina. The Civil Defence report long delays in evacuations: the women in evening dress and high heels stumble constantly break down too often. Indignation by Minister Carfagna replies: "Equal Opportunity There will be an obligation of high heels for men. "

To appease the rest of the population currently not affected by any natural disaster, all the weather services of RAI and Mediaset will encourage optimism giving forecasts the weather is fine and sunny throughout the peninsula.
for 4 long years.

Grates For Wiping Your Feet

More Nobel Intelligent

"a black man struggle for peace is like a Chinese fight against undeclared work or Milanese fight against tax evasion Something I do not back tax ... " puzzled Berlusconi confessed to a trust Bonaiuti, after the unexpected disappointment the theft of the Nobel Prize for Peace . sure he bought the votes of jurors erotomania, thanks to a clever move Capezzone, who disguised as a priest managed to penetrate the headquarters of the Royal Academy with a handful of escort in monk's habit, he can not give peace, concerned about new attacks by the only real opposition in the country: foreign newspapers (the director of British "Mickey" is the favorite in the primaries of the Democratic Party , thanks to the biting satire of Italian Prime Minister, portrayed as Scrooge McDuck fat, bald and heels, the star of comics as "Grandma Duck against Bari hoes," "Grandma Duck kitchen with Clio Napolitano and" Grandma Duck Ciccio against Mario Borghezio " ).
To reconnect the threads of a liaison now deteriorated, the Knight presented in Strasbourg, by the mouth of astatine Tajani a proposal for reform of the prestigious Swedish in the direction of a need rejuvenation from the smoky patina of bigotry Nordic influence the choices of the jurors, absurdly ignoring the specific gravity of the Italian genius. To facilitate the company for talent the beautiful country, it is proposed to insert new categories, more fresh and cheeky , particularly suited to defuse the current economic situation.

Nobel Prize Figa

Berlusconi has already submitted an application defines himself as "a tireless promoter of the only real engine of Italian society, from all forms of obscurantism of the left who would deny her pussy for future generations. W her pussy! W Italy! ". The bookmakers gave him up as the favorite, before the scene of Hugh Hefner, Rocco Siffredi and Tinto Brass, with whom he seems to have accepted a direct comparison TV with Rosy Bindi as a mediator. Its trump card might be the brochure "A dirty Italian history" , which will soon be distributed to all families of Europe, which traces four decades of absolute protagonist of pussy in Italy, from the beginnings of Stroke Grosso (apparently also wanted to apply the quotatissimo Umberto Smaila immediately stopped Knight's entourage) to the exceptional sexual performance with D'Addario.
few grumbles from the Vatican hierarchy, but ironically "after all is the other half of the sky" .

Nobel Prize for sobriety Memorial Sandra Milo "

Harsh competition between the premier and Flavio Briatore, who emphasize its leadership in the field promptly introduced a new line of sober fashion accessories, such as glass eye el leopard ' arbre magique leccabile shaped Gregoraci. Conversely Berlusconi has not hesitated to assert his absolute primacy in gallantry with foreign heads of state and appeared in a video on YouTube is having fun in a friendly hilarious jokes Telephone: manual of etiquette for the perfect imitation of Hitler in a summit with Angela Merkel and the Klu Klux Klan disguise during the summit with Obama.

Cup Nobel samples

the football team with the highest number of European Cups will be awarded this special recognition to the spread of sports culture in the world. Coupled with the Nobel Prize Figa, given the importance of praying two aspects of Italian society, will allow the suspension of all criminal trials in progress, which will be transferred to the Presidents Office of the teams relegated to Serie B ( "processes should be made to the bankrupt, not the winners like me! ")

Nobel Economics and Fantasy

In this discipline very crowded (we are all competing candidates Corrida) Berlusconi has teamed with the famous entertainer Giulio Tremonti according to the known pattern of brainstorming who shoots the biggest crap? ". There are two fundamental pillars: the Ruling Pythagoras, suspending the tax returns of all citizens who have only a fifth grade and requires accountants to close budgets by divisions in the column, and the Tax Shield Dixan that allows the return of capital evaders after washing at 30 degrees, delicate program.
The Constitutional Court, under pressure from the Technical Institute 4F Majorana Viterbo, has initiated the preliminary investigation for the evaluation of "total nonsense" standards.

Nobel Prize to Pluralism

Candidacy in tandem with Licio Gelli and Renato Mannheimer for the design of the computer program "Gasparrisoft" already applied to the satisfaction of RAI and Mediaset. The brilliant software schedules of TV listings and news magazine programs, and may choose to invite political leaders at any transmission coupling according to a majority and opposition compatibility innovative algorithm that facilitates the viewer in understanding the content . In front of the jury of the Nobel, Berlusconi has shown prodigious proud results achieved by the software, the opportunity to apply for a copy adult average Italian. After a week of uninterrupted view of the Italian television was asked what he understood of the guinea pig story of the Lodo Alfano. Here is the full transcript:
"a couple of gay, happy for the dazzling economic recovery of Italy, were savagely beaten in an alley President Napolitano in Rome, who in turn asked Berlusconi to € 750 million as compensation for the attack on the police station and the suspension of trials on the Milan fashion shows. Mario Draghi, and Paris Hilton have been photographed on Lake Como and ushered in a nuclear power plant and strongly offended Rosy Bindi, who, in the province of Messina, attended the state funeral of six soldiers killed in Kabul during the protests of factory workers, which, among other things, Opel will not buy because of a contrary opinion of the Constitutional Court of the Hague International G8. Obama is tanned and Belen as well, but has the biggest pair and is contrary to the Lodo Alfano. "

Albert Nobel, from the grave, Thank You.